A Daughter of God

This week has been crazy. 

The hardest week of my mission. I had a lot of health problems this week- but I think it was the worst because for the first time in the mission I felt like I was failing. I felt I was failing as a trainer and as a missionary. 

I love being a missionary and I know its because as a missionary I feel I am completely fulfilling my purpose as a daughter of God. 

And this week I felt I wasn´t just failing, but I was literally disappointing Heavenly Father. Which is the worst thought and it’s hard to get rid of. 

But what happened was I have been in bed now for a long time. And this week it was bad- last week I had bronchitis with the nurse orders to chill in the house. But these feeling of guilt were so overwhelming I faked better and we went to work in the sector- which was a terrible idea because then I got Pneumonia. 

It got pretty bad and the nurse had me moved to Osorno- she then was going to have me admitted to the hospital. But instead had me move in with them. So I spent the first little bit on a little bed by the fire with my Darth Vader med mask on and off. 

Then my companion came down and went on splits with the nurse’s companion to keep working.  Oh my, the nurse here is amazing and really got me stabilized. I love her. 

But then I had to stay with them for a bit- so they built a cool bunk bed for us ha-ha. 

But this whole time with the medicine, the mask, resting and her help I really was feeling so much better. But still couldn’t shake the terrible thoughts about how I was ruining my new companions training, how the work in my sector was completely forgotten and how I just "knew" Heavenly Father was disappointed with me. I knew he loved me so much, but still. 

And it hurt. I tried studying the scriptures but I had to lie down and felt I was just spending my precious mission days lying there. 

But I had faith and that was the frustrating part. I knew He could heal me and I was so confused why He wouldn’t just help me. I knew how happy I was as a missionary and how happy I knew He was when I am happy. I didn't lose my faith, but I felt so alone. 

Then I had a bunch of little experiences to help me remember this is His work! That yes, He loves me so much but more than that- He is so proud of me and that sometimes when we go through hard things. It's because He trusts us to learn what He needs us to learn. 

I love the restoration video where Jose Smith says sometimes the Lord brings us down so He can lift us higher. 

The mission nurse, whom I love!

And that’s what He’s done- He has brought me down (and brought me down hard) but I know it was so I could have a couple little sacred experiences to bring not my body back to health- but lift my spirit higher. 

One of these happened in the sacrament when I read my patriarchal blessing and a new line was seriously amplified- one I haven´t ever really focused in on. 

With that, one other was very, very sacred. I will write you, mom and pops, about it but He answers prayers and He knows me so much. I was given an experience to see His love as easily as I can see dads for me. 

And the third was in a talk from Elder Bednar (who is a rock star and I am so jealous the kids saw him last week. sooo cool) 

But he talks about the Faith not to be healed. Which is crazy. Because yes I had the faith for him to completely heal my body when I received a blessing from president, then after when I prayed and prayed and prayed- but I hadn’t thought about if I truly had the faith not to be healed- but to just trust. 

Elder Bednar says,  ¨Righteousness and faith certainly are instrumental in moving mountains if moving mountains accomplishes God’s purposes and is in accordance with His will. Righteousness and faith certainly are instrumental in healing the sick, deaf, or lame—if such healing accomplishes God’s purposes and is in accordance with His will. Thus, even with strong faith, many mountains will not be moved. And not all of the sick and infirm will be healed. If all opposition were curtailed, if all maladies were removed, then the primary purposes of the Father’s plan would be frustrated. ¨

So that is what I have learned- this is Gods work. And I am His so loved daughter and He´s got it. So I just need to trust. It's hard and I still would rather just "have the mountain be moved" so I could go back to giving 100 percent to this work. But like Bednar says "it's only if moving mountains accomplishes God’s purposes."

I love you so much. Don't worry about me- I am back in Rio Bueno and taking it very slow. But my spirits are up and I am happy (especially because we have our first lesson tonight!)

xoxo the amount of times I said *pshh pshh Parkinson.. I am your mother* :) in the breathing mask like Darth Vader to my companion xoxox 

Hna Ball

I´ve got bronchitis-ain't nobody got time for that

¨Fill your mind with truth; Fill your life with service; Fill your heart with love. ¨ -President Monson

 

Mind with truth:

This week we studied and taught a bunch on family history. We had one lesson in particular that I loved. It was with L and her husband A. We have been teaching them quite a bit, they are both very evangelical- and he is actually a bible professor at a high school. When we started teaching them I was so scared because he really, really knows and loves the bible. But as I started teaching I just remembered that truth is truth. And I just need to stick to the truth and we´ll be good. Which is what we have done- and it's been amazing. This week we taught them these things about family history and showed them different scriptures in the book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. Family history is the best and a really wonderful truth our church has! The spirit was so strong and oh boy, I love family history. 

Life with service:

As a missionary- I really am living a service dream. We go all afternoon and night just trying to teach and give what we love and know is so true. However, as sisters in skirts usually people don´t allow us to do the hands on fun service- so we have gotten a little creative on how to serve the people. One of this weeks’ little service acts was my favorite- we doorbell ditched sticky notes with drawings or pictures or quotes that applied to a scripture to keep our families in the book of Mormon. It was so simple but so fun- then when we entered the house they were always on the fridge or wall and they´ve kept the collection. Yeah for filling all the days with little service! 

Heart with love: 

This week for English class we switched it up a bit. We did the main two things we love. Testified of the Restoration and ate! We watched the video of the Restoration (with English subtitles) and ate completos. (Chilean hotdogs) Then we had a quiz about all the food names in English. So much fun and actually a solid activity because it was with our 2 converts and 4 investigators. I love missionary work! 

You know what else I love- these sick diseased sheep everywhere. :) Yay for el campo. 

Oh, this week we also had interviews with our mission president,  President Obesso. We got to the church and it was all locked up then got a call from the zone leaders explaining they were running a little late- but if we´d like to join them and president for lunch! Duuuuh. So we went and had the yuuuuumiest food with just president and his wife and my pals the zone leaders. It was so fun and so nice to get to sit and just chat and get to know president! Then we had the actual interviews and they were rocking! Oh, how I love president and the joy he has for my personal success! 

So as you can see this week was pretty good. However, here’s the bummer part- this was all the first part of the week. 

This weekend I came down pretty hard with bronchitis. It’s been terrible. I had 4 days without sleeping at all but we were still just doing work like normal- but then I got a hacking cough, pretty bad- so they Shipped me to the city and had the mission nurse look at me- she got me meds and put me on ¨house arrest¨ and it has been the worst. I hate it. I am going crazy- but so sick that there is nothing to do. She then came to visit yesterday- and I am now on meds and doing much better. 

But just pleeease pray for me. I got to get out and work. 

But don´t stress too much about the health- especially grandmas ha-ha. I really am on the up side of it all. 

Well family. I love you like crazy. I have loved this week because we have had some crazy experiences and then 3 days to study all of preach my gospel, and work on the 12-week program. I am excited to get back to work this week and put all the studying to use! 

Also the other photos; 

Playing jenga to keep up sane. I love Hna p. We are really, really getting along crazy good. She isn’t just a companion but a real, true friend. We have the spirit and the giggles todos los dias. (all the day) 

Then these random kids saw us walking down the street and asked if they could take a picture with us! Ha-ha it’s actually funny how much this happens! 

I know this church is true. I love the book of Mormon so much. I am so happy to have this loving, guiding book. I looove testifying of it and I love, love, love being a missionary. 

xoxox I´ve got bronchitis-ain't nobody got time for that xoxo 

 Hna Ball

Hiking to Argentina!

What a WONDERFUL week!

BEST

A and H. oh my little gems.-Baptism was a beaut. So pretty, so much support, so spiritual and so fun! That’s what we like right?! It is so crazy how prepared they were! Love these kids. Then get this, the week before the baptism we started temple prep and the day after the baptism we got them all into family search- they are looking for names and so excited to go to the temple in NOVEMBER! 

We are all working on our "mi familia" booklets- mom please help me cheat, ha-ha-, send photos in a word document. Some of the generation up to gma and gpas grandparents (if we have them) and little stories or things about them that I can just download and print off.

Also, get this conference- so good. Oh boy. But you know what is better- conference with H at all 5 sessions! (Only like 4 member families were there for all the sessions) but he’s just chilling taking100 notes and literally glowing from more and more excitement after each session! This kid- Heavenly Father has big plans for him.

FUN

Also, sorry about not writing last week we went to the Argentina air. (Really we were 10 minutes from the boarder!) Park Puyehue. We went on a crazy road trip (literally was all day) and went to the middle part of the mountain that was so green for hiking then we went up to the very top (which looks like Utah ha-ha) and went tarp sledding (a first for them) snowman building, and just giggling so much because it was the most snow they had ever seen.

We went with our branch presidente family- who literally is my family here. We do it all- breakfast on conference Sunday, lunches or little treats and laugh and laugh and noche de hogares y todo (Family Home Evening). I love them.

Also, definitely hit 9 months in the mission!

 Here’s a quick two of my favorite lessons this week-

AWESOME

1. knocking a door and sharing about the restoration right there. Then returning and she wasn’t home for our next appointment. So we walked away a bit sad and found her in the street. - We talked about her mom who had just passed away and the plan of salvation, then sang families can be together forever- obviously made her cry (woohooo!) ((Honestly it was probably my terrible singing ahah) then have planned to return!

2. We have a daughter and mom, C and M, who are the best. So prepared- they had met with missionaries before and asked if we could give them scriptures to read and then check up with them because a long time ago sisters did that and they loved it. Oh yeah, I guess that wed be down with that.

Then they went and got their books of Mormon, hymnbooks and the history of José smith books their Mormon uncle gave them. Soooo prepared.

So, we jumped right on that and just straight up asked her to be baptized- if she prepared a little more and all you know.- buuut she went to say yes and was so excited but her mom cut in and said she needs to finished university first- which is another year and a half. Please, please pray for her mama to have a little softened heart.

Ok, K and A update-  Oh boy I love them.

RANDOM

Oh, also random fact- burned yet another chunk out of my hair- ha-ha so if I come home all singed just got with it.

Funny miracle- God's hand is in the work so much- and sometimes it's him just throwing a swarm of bugs at us. We are just walking in the spring air (love) and all of a sudden we are literally choking down bugs, oh my eyes and nose and every where. So we start running off, heads down and it just keeps a coming. So we make a big detour to a different street and we run into an investigator I taught my first week here in Rio Bueno and whom I have been trying to find for like 9 weeks! Thank you bugs!

Ok and a quick little conference nugget time. Love- and we got to watch it in English so it was a good ole gringo fest.

I saw you guy in two of the stories.

1. M Russell Ballard- I could literally see us just a giggling and a hollering river rafting and I loved it. Such good Ball Family talk. Looove.

2. This one was dad- it actually made me bust up just a bit. It was when Richard G Scott istalking about family home evening and I heard dad all of junior high say to me. ¨we´re with the family, in the home and its evening.¨ ha-ha thank you pops for the ever-best words, always and always.

Then can we just talk about Bednar- and I know I am bias because I am a missionary. But really. What a gem. And every time they mentioned or prayed about the missionaries I got a big ole smile and many times a couple tears. I LOVE being a missionary. I love it. And i just always hearing about ¨the missionaries" like they were little celebrities and now I’m the one living the dream.

¨Step back, breathe, and trust in God. ¨-Elder oaks.

Xoxo Hna ball

The best birthday ever!

This week was the best birthday week I have ever had in all my 20 years. (What? 20. Mom and dad do you feel so old?) 

But really, let me just throw the best news down....A and H are going to be baptized this Saturday! I am going crazy- so many prayers and prayers and prayers and then yesterday they had their baptismal interview and it was the best birthday gift I could have gotten! 

Also, just let me try and explain this week. It was so spiritual but also so fun- it is Chile's independent day and it was a weeklong event. The 18th and 19th we had rules were we couldn’t even just be in the street unless we had appointments. 

So this week we had a cooking class with the elders, the familia Stott and Julio (our coolest bff who is the ward mission leader.) we have been doing these pretty much ever-single week. This time we had a pichanga (the huge fries. Best) We made chilies, lemon pie and apple crisp. Soo delicious. 

Then, we also had a special mission conference. It was with Elder Viñas- a general authority. It was rocking- we got to be in a special musical number that was so pretty then we got to sit on the front row just a couple feet away. Which was sweet because I was able to focus better (aka not fall asleep or zone out the Spanish for hours. Ha-ha) and I learned so many things- this conference got me so pumped that when we got home we immediately had a lesson with A and H, and it was powerful.

 

But the conference was also sweet because I got to see all three of my comps that are in the mission, Hna L, Hna R and Hna S. So fun! Afterwards, celebrated our time in Osorno with hamburgers! (aye-aye 'Merica.)

Then the 18th was crazy fun. We had a huuuge feast and b-b-q thing with Hna E. It was delicious- they just feed us and feeeeed us. To walk off the food before heading over to the next house where we knew there would be even more food, we walked through the old cemetery. Very cool.  Very, very Catholic. 

Then we headed over to A and H house and chilled for a bit, helped bake traditional Chilean cookies and such. Then we had a little party with K and A. 

Then the next morning we went to pray and I almost kneeled on this huuuge bee. Oh boy momma, you'd really love our house. But I'll take it because we are having more sun right now and its dreamy!

Then the 19th we had another little cooking activity with the elders, stotts and Julio. We made 3 pizzas and ate like kings. Seriously Chileans know how to do it. Then that night we had a kiiiiiiler ward activity. I was having so much fun I only took one tiny picture at the very beginning of the activity before everyone really even showed up. We had a crazy turn out, tooons of investigators and it was so good. 

We played a lot of little Chilean games, we had yummy food (surprise- more food), we danced (and got permission to learn the Chilean national dance. So fun) and one of my favorite activities was a huge jump rope game where we dance while jump roping. So, so fun. All in all, a crazy fun night and the best part is our investigators are really feeling comfortable with the branch! 

Then we had a FHE (family home evening) with K and A and another family where we played Ping-Pong and had a killer spiritual message and all. They are coming along- still so much work to go but I have faith.

Then we had so many miracles this week with A and H, honestly I don’t even have time to write all the little spiritual things from this week- just know it was real. Oh boy, so good. 

Then yesterday a family made a big birthday lunch for me with a cute little cake and all the best little things. And oh boy, can I just tell you the love I have felt! So many notes and cards and little treat boxes and mom and grandma's you are the best! And all the picture postcards. Love. So much love. 

Yesterday morn Hna P made me a breakfast and we opened presents and then that night Julio and my investigators in our gospel principles class put on a little birthday party for me. Sooo much love to be had. All with treats, little gifts, hugs and love, love looove. 

It was definitely a birthday for the books. Full of so much love. 

I LOVE being a missionary. I can't believe at the end of this month I finish half of my mission. I had a dream the other night about home and half of my mission and just woke up crying- so we aren’t going to talk about that any more. But truly- I looove, love, love being a missionary. It is so happy and such true joy and soooo fun and so full of rewards. 

Next weeks will be with photos of A's and H's happy little baptized faces! 

So much love. 

Xoxo 20-year old grandma Hna Ball